People Are Also Stupid

The Guv’ner is puzzled by a chain of emails between herself and a coworker, that took place today. It went a little like this:

From: The Guv’ner
To: Retard

Are you free on September 28th for meeting with blah-di-blah?


From: Retard
To: The Guv’ner

Sorry, no, I’m out Friday and all of next week!

From: The Guv’ner
To: Retard

Oh. Well I guess it’s lucky we’re talking about SEPTEMBER 28th then, huh!

From: Retard
To: The Guv’ner

No, sorry can’t do it. As I said I’m out all of next week.

From: The Guv’ner
To: Retard

But…next week is only August. I’m talking about the end of September. It’s five weeks away.

From: Retard
To: The Guv’ner

I won’t be back in the office until September 3rd.

At this point I decided to just stab myself in the heart with my left-handed scissors.


10 Responses to “People Are Also Stupid”

  1. T Says:

    ‘Non-coherent idiocy’ is solved with a baseball bat.

  2. The Guv'ner Says:

    I have a feeling the baseball bat might be the cause of that “non-coherent idiocy” in the first place. At least I hope so.

  3. Bert Says:

    Now this is just me, puckish lad that I am… I would have written back:

    From: The Guv’ner
    To: Effin’ Retard
    Re: Meeting with Blah de Blah

    Thank you for your response. I discussed it with Blah de Blah and he fully understands how your upcoming vacation will make it impossible to fit your schedule to his, but he wonders if you could check your schedule for, oh, I don’t know…how about Sept. 28? Meeting with you on that date would just be super for him.

    Thanking you in advance for your anticipated misunderstanding, I remain your humble Admin,

    The Guv’ner

  4. pistols at dawn Says:

    Wow. I think there’s only one thing to do: keep sending that exact same email over and over until they cancel their vacation to sit in that empty room on August 28th.

  5. The Guv'ner Says:

    Now Bert, nicely sarcastic to the hilt as that is, he would just probably not see the sarcasm at all and reply with his availability like it was a serious, valid question. It’s better to hammer the point in over many fruitless efforts so that when it DOES finally dawn on him, he feels like an enormous FOOL.

    Now Pistols, is more hip to that method it seems. Only he’s got a measure more evil involved.

  6. katrocket Says:

    Perhaps you could suggest that the retard take a Calender Comprehension 101 course during his downtime.

    I find that when people are obsessed with their upcoming vacations, there’s absolutely no reasoning with that person.

    I also find that you work with some really-over-the-top-stupid people.

  7. The Guv'ner Says:

    Kat: That is undebatable, however here, most of them are quite together, it’s in my last job I worked with total morons who never ceased to amaze me with the levels of stupidity.

    Well them and this guy! 🙂

  8. Catherinette Singleton Says:

    Wow! That is one mighty smart person!

    I very much like bert’s idea.

  9. The Guv'ner Says:

    It’s not often Bert hears that…


  10. Bert Bananas Says:

    “Bert, I like your idea…”

    I’ve heard this more times than you probably anticipated, because when I was ‘corporate’ I learned how to ‘lackey.’ I hated myself for it, but the smiles I garnered from ‘those above me’ were adequate compensation.

    Even now, being in charge of my own business, I still find that telling people what they want to hear is an excellent solution to many, many problems. But I don’t have to fact these people on a daily basis and fortunately, they come to me for help and they get it, because while I may say that their ideas are wonderful, I always do it my way. I know you’ve found this a pleasant strategy, as a successful Admin, but where I got to put this ploy into practice 97.4% of the time, you can’t possibly be doing it your way more than 35.8% of the time. But you get more vacation time than I do…

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