OMG!!!1

Guv’ner,

Please make me an in depth list of everyone on the SKO team who works on BTY and reports to the GHWE group. I need emails and phone numbers so we can get a note out later in the week. They must only work on APSC and AOSC and be department heads.

– Boss With a Death Wish

Baby Jeebus, give me strength. I can be in a foul enough mood on a cold Monday morning without emails like the one above making me feel like a vegetable. I don’t know what a single one of those acronyms means. I have no idea what an “SKO team” is, let alone sub-divisions of it, and I have no freaking CLUE how to get their phone numbers or emails since I don’t know who they are. I don’t even know if he’s referring to internal people or client people or….aliens from the planet “Abundant Abbreviation Hell” or if those are just some random letters he got in Scrabble. I think I will write an email back with some acronyms of my own.

Dear Boss With A Death Wish:

ESAD asshat. WTF are you talking about? Take your SKO team and shove it up your ASS. (OMGLOLZ!)

– Guv’ner.

I’m a touch grouchy today…

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23 Responses to “OMG!!!1”

  1. Suze Says:

    I got your back. Send the email and I’ll wait outside the office door with reinforcements.

    You’re grouchy but I’d be afraid of you. Hell, I am afraid of you.

    xoxo
    SAS
    (Scared-ass Suze)

  2. The Guv'ner Says:

    Haha! Well there is no need because I am a pussycat. At least outside of the office. Well maybe not on the subway…. Or you know…in the street walking home and dealing with pedestrians and tourons (tourist/moron hybrid). Tourons are the worst. Stopping dead in the middle of the sidewalk to stare at “things” while I’m walking behind them. GRRRRRR.

  3. The Idea Of Progress Says:

    Conversation with my boss today about one of our clients meeting with one of his coworkers: “He’s meeting with So-and-So? At what time?” “I don’t know. He said tomorrow morning. He didn’t give me a specific time. I’ve scheduled you to speak with him afterwards.” “You didn’t ask him what time?” “No…why, pray tell, would I ask him that? Why would he tell me?” [that part was in my head]

  4. The Guv'ner Says:

    Yup. That’s how it goes down. MIND READING 101. Learn it.

    Why the HELL would he tell you the time anyway? It’s moments like those I often wish I could think faster to come up with the perfect witty response but usually I come up with those hours later when they’re no good anymore.

  5. Chris Says:

    Boss, holding up file folder, speaking to group at large: “Who’s working on this job?”

    Anonymous voice: “No one.”

    Boss, waving file folder in the air: “Why? Why isn’t anyone working on this? I need to have it right away! Why aren’t you working on it?”

    Anonymous: “We’re not working on it because you have it there in your hand…”

  6. The Guv'ner Says:

    Sometimes Chris, it’s like you are IN MY HEAD.

  7. The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: Says:

    I might very soon have a boss and learn a new acronym language. Eeek!!

  8. The Guv'ner Says:

    *GASP* I hope not! I mean I hope you have the job and a boss but that he’s a lovely, sweet, generous boss who buys your lunch every day and a new car at Christmas. And that he has a needy twin brother who’s looking for an assistant in NYC. 🙂

    NO ACRONYMS ALLOWED.

  9. Teri Says:

    LOL @ Chris.

    I think this is an epidemic and the world is coming to an end, very slowly and is melting our brains in the process.

  10. The Guv'ner Says:

    I think it doesn’t have to BE this hard. There are so many ways to make work flow naturally and organically but people ALWAYS without fail, have to complicate matters for the rest of us.

    In this case, now I have to ask a zillion questions when he gets back which will take time and he could just have taken five minutes to explain what he was talking about in the first place and I would have the list BY NOW.

  11. minijonb Says:

    i’m a member of W.H.A.T. –

    We Hate Acronyms Totally

    – it’s a fun group… we hate txting and we get ripped at happy hour. cheers!

  12. The Guv'ner Says:

    minijonb: A check for my membership is in the mail, dude!

  13. pistols at dawn Says:

    Guv,

    LKHNOP!

    Sincerely,

    PAD

  14. The Guv'ner Says:

    Pistols: YOU TEASE.

    If that keeps me up all night I’ll be planning your demise tomorrow.

  15. landis smithers Says:

    at least he didn’t tell you he had a “burr in his saddle” about something. my boss’ phrase. true story. hilarious.

  16. The Guv'ner Says:

    I’ll give him a burr in his saddle. Is that painful? I only do painful. I think I’m going to start using that on a daily basis. I like it.

    Even better is an “axe in his jugular” but that’s usually only in my fantasies.

  17. landis smithers Says:

    it’s more “fork in the eye” annoying than “axe in the jugular” necessary.

    update: very hot boy just entered lounge, implying eye candy for most of forementioned flight. whew.

  18. The Guv'ner Says:

    Oh bless you! Any sympathy I had previously has now been retracted since I have nothing to look at but a tub of Wet Ones and a South Park doll.

    Where are you doing that takes 19 hours…Jupiter? (or maybe Australia)

  19. The Guv'ner Says:

    Doing = going. It’s my comment I will make it up as I go along.

  20. landis smithers Says:

    sao paulo. then buenos aires.

    i know, i know, no sympathy. i JUST posted the details on my blog . . .

  21. The Guv'ner Says:

    You jet setting beeyotch!

    We have an office in Sao Paulo! They’ve been teaching me some Portuguese. Nothing too perverted (sadly) just niceties like saying “hello!” and “how are you?” and “my you have a fine ass!”

    OK I’m still working on the last one.

    Yay for hot South Americans though. Yay indeed.

  22. ~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ Says:

    ROFLMAO! OMFG I can totally relate, KWIM? I work with ECOs, ECRs, PPAPs and NMRs all day for the 4-CVS of which I am the DCC. We’re getting ready for a 6S event!

    So… did you ever figure out what all that meant?????

    Guv’ner – I shit you negative… I worked with a girl a couple of years ago who would laugh and yell “LOL!”. I mean, she actually spoke the letters, *oh my gawd, giggle snort, guffaw, guffaw, LOL!!!!*

    I killed her.
    She’s gone now.
    I miss her.
    Not.

    🙂 You make me smiiiiiile and smile.

  23. The Guv'ner Says:

    Pixie, dude… the day you turn on the news and there I am with a meat cleaver in one hand and an Uzi in the other, running naked through Manhattan singing a Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits medley, will be the day that one acronym too many has entered my stratosphere. It won’t be pleasant and there will be casualties – many casualties – but I will not be held responsible.

    I figured out two of them. The funny thing is once I figured out what they stood for THEY STILL MADE NO DAMN SENSE. I have to wait till The Boss gets back tomorrow to ask him what the hell he’s talking about. That should produce much angst.

    People who SAY “LOL” out loud…that’d be like that moment you see in movies when someone says something and everything stops and like…cutlery clatters and everyone’s sort of silently like “Oh no he di’int.” Well done in your choosing homicide. Welcome to the fold.

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