Back On The Chain Gang

Well you’ll all be thrilled to know I am back at work. No graphs today or anything fun like that, however, my day so far has been like this:

1) Got in an hour late because I could.

2) Sent an urgent fax to someone 1600 miles away suggesting they hand deliver me a soda in return for a giant Guv’ner sized hug in the off-chance my sweet talking actually can control people and give me ideas for future world domination.

3) Changed some travel arrangements to Rio that were previously to Sao Paulo when the Uberlord realized that Rio and Sao Paulo are actually different places and Brazil is not one big city.

4) Realized I’d left all my money on the dresser at home and had to buy coffee with nickels. Again.

5) Received email from faxee calling me an “ass”.

6) Talked to several severely surly people about spreadsheets.

7) Commenced slacking.

8) Lunch.

I know, you’re delighted I told you this. Well you are WELCOME.


30 Responses to “Back On The Chain Gang”

  1. doorknob_dan Says:

    It’s about time you stopped goofing around and wrote another blog entry! Oh, and got back to work too…

    Is there something I’m doing wrong with this fax stuff? All people ever fax me is orders.

    Advice on what I’m doing wrong?

    No, wait, your advice always revolves around killing someone or eating cake.

  2. The Guv'ner Says:


    Well there was an order on my fax too. I have some business intentions you know.


  3. CDP Says:

    Welcome back! You know, someone 1600 miles away, given proximity to an airport and some motivation, could reasonably hand-deliver a soda to you within 6 hours or so. I don’t see what’s so outrageous about such a clearly reasonable request.

  4. The Guv'ner Says:

    CDP: I could not agree more. I think it was entirely reasonable. I mean there was a hug at stake. FROM ME. Who’d turn that down?

  5. The Ambiguous Blob Says:

    Our fax machine is far away. Otherwise, I would totally fax weird stuff. It sounds fun.

  6. The Guv'ner Says:

    They are just old school pranking fun! I mean email’s so common. Why not fax something stupid instead? Next time I’m sending something with a black background…

  7. mindy Says:

    Are you SURE Brazil isn’t one big city? I could swear it was…

  8. The Guv'ner Says:

    Oh man. That would totally suck if he was RIGHT! Maybe i should send him to Sao Paulo anyway, teach him a lesson.

  9. Winter Says:

    I love paying in all change.

  10. Suze's Sass Says:

    I never receive faxes where people call me an “ass”. Moron, deadbeat, illegitimate hosebag, but never ass. Should I be insulted? Whatever, I’ll just take a two hour lunch to mull this whole thing over.

  11. The Guv'ner Says:

    Winter: yes, paying in change makes everyone’s day. Pennies are best when you really want to piss people off.

    Suze: Sorry, was kind of grouchy the day i sent you the hosebag fax, oops! šŸ™‚ Ha.

  12. So@24 Says:

    I love those days.

  13. The Guv'ner Says:

    So: They certainly beat working that’s for DAMN sure.

  14. Baroness von Bloggenschtern Says:

    Wowza – that was one full morning.
    I trust you spent the afternoon regaining your composure on the DUL’s couch? That’s my girl.

  15. Chris Says:

    My customers are so tech savvy… I once got a fax asking me to fax them back to let them know I got the e-mail they’d sent…

    My boss likes to punch buttons once in a while, so he’ll wander over to the fax machine and proceed to read the directions (we’ve had the machine since 1993), then he’ll invariably put the paper in upside down and fax his customer 15 blank sheets. At that point he’ll heave a deep sigh, as if to say, “why do I have to do EVERYTHING around here,” and wander back to his lair for a nappy-poo.

  16. BeckEye Says:

    #6 is awesomely alliterative.

  17. The Guv'ner Says:

    I noticed that myself Becks. But still. It had to be said. I’m a very poetic person you know.

    Hahaha. Ok no.

  18. The Guv'ner Says:

    Chris: Gosh that sounds SO familiar! Silly bosses.

    Faxes are underrated methods of torment I think. Faxing someone something stupid cracks me up. Of course, the recipient calls me names for the rest of the day but hey. I can take it.

    Why anyone faxes anything when you can scan stuff and email it is beyond me.

  19. Franki Says:

    I was totally over here wondering, “Wonder the The Guv’ner is doing today?”

    And damn, I didn’t even know people still sent faxes. Especially for cool stuff, like calling people names.

  20. The Guv'ner Says:

    Franki: That is the only remaining reason to have a fax machine I think. Faxual harassment.

  21. The Guv'ner Says:

    Baroness: It’s like you can read my mind!!! šŸ™‚

  22. doorknob_dan Says:

    Were you faxing them naughty pictures? I don’t think they’d come through well….all blotchy and oversaturated…

  23. The Guv'ner Says:

    Sounds to me like someone has a little experience of this…

    The only naughty thing on there was my handwriting.

  24. Suze's Sass Says:

    Oh you ass, I knew it was you šŸ™‚

  25. The Guv'ner Says:

    Suze: Did you like the part about “Latex”?


  26. Renaissance Woman Says:

    You had the perfect day…except for the “ass” part. If only the fax would have worked out. There is always tomorrow.

  27. The Guv'ner Says:

    Renaissance Woman: Ha, well I was sort of an ass, it’s easy as it comes naturally to me!

    Never did see that soda however…

  28. The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: Says:

    With regard to #3 – Sometimes the way you describe the Uberlord (by first of all calling him the Uberlord) and his shenaningans makes me think that perhaps you are a White House staffer.

    BTW if you do it right you CAN control the world with sweet talking – or at least your own little world šŸ˜‰

  29. Leonesse Says:

    I work every damn day of my life, so STFU missy.

  30. The Guv'ner Says:

    Leo: I spend my entire days trying to piss you off! šŸ™‚ Did I mention the two days I had at home on the couch last week? No? Well, I did.

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