The Guv’ner Is Not Insane

Due to a lull in proceedings today I have messed around a lot. I know, it’s NOT like me and thanks for noticing.

My Gmail account today had a header at the top of the page with the link to a quiz called “Are You Insane?” I have no idea why they thought to place that there because normally those headers are related to the stuff entering your inbox and your basic personality.

I figure that the thing that enters my inbox most, apart from enticements about making my tallywhacker bigger and ‘cease and desist’ orders, are comments from you people, hence where the “insane” part comes in. Thanks a lot people! Now I have a reputation at gmail for being slightly south of barking mad. At least it replaced the blurbs about Afroman that were there before. Believe me you don’t want to know the reasoning behind that…

Naturally, I had to try this quiz, if only to prove I am clearly not insane in any manner.

Hot damn. This quiz is obviously rigged!!!

I take issue with this quiz, because I answered those stupid questions completely rationally and in a sober, thoughtful manner and seemingly this is the thanks I get.

Plus, I know I passed the test because once I realized they were blackmailing me to sign up for all kinds of nasty offers and shit before they’d give me my score, I tried to close it down and then they got all panicky and were like, “Oh Guv, here is your rating, please don’t go, the real quiz was that if you went through all those crazy sign-up pages just to find out if you were insane or not, then clearly YOU ARE VERY INSANE INDEED, PROBABLY MICHAEL JACKSON WARP FACTOR 8, HOWLING AT THE MOON, BATSHIT CRAZY, therefore, we’re happy to inform you that you pass as merely ‘weirdly unusual'”.

Those fuckers.

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14 Responses to “The Guv’ner Is Not Insane”

  1. Falwless Says:

    God I cannot stand those sneaky ass things! I’ve been known to spend quite some time on a quiz or questionnaire only to find out they want my email address and occupation and shoe size and phone number before they’ll give me my fucking results. God that pisses me off like nothing else. And then I try to be sneaky and enter “myemail@thisisfake.com” and press NEXT and whattya know? They sent the motherfucking results to my email. There goes that idea. Tricky tricky bastards. I’m getting heated over here.

    Deep breath.

  2. Suze's Sass Says:

    Clearly this was a ploy to get you to sign up for whatever crap they would be bombarding you with in the future. I can vouch for you that you’re not insane.

  3. katrocket Says:

    I like your new header graphic! It’s lovely.

    It IS new, right? Sometimes I think people get new glasses or a new hairdo, and then they stare at me blankly and say “No. Are you insane?” Just like your fucking Gmail account did to you.

  4. The Ambiguous Blob Says:

    I would think that the ad was there because you’re getting comments from “psychotic secretary” and google knows that all secretaries are insane. Right?

  5. pistols at dawn Says:

    That cupcake in your banner ad and the girl’s outfit distracted me. What’s all this about you being crazy?

  6. The Guv'ner Says:

    Fal: Me neither. I’ve done a ton of those stupid quizzes (and some seemingly sensible ones) and then I have to get past 30 subscription pages etc. Boils my fucking blood! GRRRR! I’ve also tried the fake email thing and had the same results. Damn things. Let’s take them down.

    Suze: Well if YOU say I’m not insane then I clearly AM, miss Suze. 🙂 Um…that was a compliment. Yeah…

    Kat: YOU are obviously insane as it’s always been there. OK always as in “I put it there this afternoon”. So ok you’re not insane at all. No more than usual anyway. That Doorknob guy made it, I don’t have that much talent. It rocks though, doesn’t it? Booze, blood and cake, he captured the essence of me perfectly.

    Tabbie: Of course it would be the word “secretary” it’s not going to be the word “Psychotic” AT ALL! 🙂

    Pistols: Thank god she’s wearing clothes or your comment would be just a bunch of drool.

  7. The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: Says:

    I try so hard not to get suckered in by random quizzes, but they win almost every time and every time I take them when it’s over I’m like, Damn! Why did I take that quiz?

    I would have jumped all over one asking me “Are You Insane?” How could you not take that?

    I would have been disappointed in you Guv (or scared shitless) had the results of your quiz been anything other than what they were.

    Love your new header! I’ve been trying to work out a new look for my blog too.

  8. doorknob_dan Says:

    Dear Guv’ner,

    I have strong evidence to prove that you are indeed insane. The photographs with you and the chickens that I have is very compelling evidence.

    Please send me via paypal some money to keep my mouth shut.

    Regards,
    Dan

  9. Cranki Says:

    Except for the blond hair, I wore that outfit to school yesterday.

    Franki

  10. melpomeneandthalia Says:

    I’m sorry you had to find this out while you were being bamboozled. I would have told you that for free!

  11. The Idea Of Progress Says:

    I imagine you in that outfit. At work. Maybe it would make your workday go faster.

  12. The Guv'ner Says:

    Lady: I agree! Quizzes are too addictive and too annoying at the same time. I’m glad I didn’t get the YOU ARE A PSYCHOPATH one (i retook it picking all the crazy answers to see what would happen). I also can’t believe that I have that much time on my hands…hmmmm.

    Dan: Bring it. I am proud of those chickens. Don’t get all FOWL with me.

    Cranki: I am IMPRESSED. I would never be seen dead in those Santa socks. The rest though is fine. 🙂

    Gnugs: At least it wasn’t an intelligence quiz eh! I’d have failed that for SURE. Falling for their nasty tricks.

    IoP: Dude. Seriously. My days are surreal enough without me waltzing around in a pink tutu and my bra. Thanks. That’s just….maybe a blue tutu would work.

  13. mindy Says:

    People don’t use the word “tallywacker” nearly enough.

  14. The Guv'ner Says:

    They do not, Mindy. That was the exact word in the email though! Who am I to argue? Plus it sounds fearsome!

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