Brain Melt

My brain is so fried today that I managed to book a conference call for participants in NY and London for 8:30am London time with the smug knowledge that “With the five hour time difference that’s 1:30pm New York time and everyone will be happy!”

And they were.

Until two hours later when we all remembered that London is actually five hours AHEAD and I’d actually booked the call for 3:30AM in NYC, which caused decidedly LESS hilarity. Ha! Much as it thrills me to think of these hosers having to get out of bed in the middle of the night to talk about brand marketing and other scintillating subjects of that ilk, I think I prefer breathing without a respirator, so I reluctantly changed it to something more reasonable (and boring). Bah.

I also had to edit a presentation which involved me inserting a pie chart. I think you all know my affinity for pie charts by now, although the one I did today was infinitely less fun than the ones I normally produce for this blog. I always think a slice of any pie chart should be reserved for “Who cares?” because they’re always concerned with the most banal facts or figures ever – the sort of thing that if you read it in paragraph form would turn you glassy-eyed and homicidal in moments. My theory is, that’s the only reason anyone uses pie charts at all – to break the monotony of a bunch of typed figures with some pretty colors and gay abandon.

Plus they make you think about warm apple pie and custard which is never a bad thing. Although that might just be me… Mmmmm pie.


17 Responses to “Brain Melt”

  1. WendyB Says:

    Except for collating things, our use of time is pretty much the same.

  2. doorknob_dan Says:

    I wonder what happens during that ‘who cares’ part, because either you’re too embarassed to admit what you’re doing, too scared of retribution, or else too drunk to remember. What is it?

  3. The Guv'ner Says:

    Wendy: Then you are quite AWESOME. I already knew that, however.

    Dan: That is a state secret. I would tell you but then I’d have to kill you.

  4. Red Says:


  5. katrocket Says:

    You know very well that talk of pie excites me. You are such a pietease.

  6. The Guv'ner Says:

    Red: YUP! It’s that time of day where all thoughts turn to cake of some variety. That hour is called ‘ANYTIME’.

    Kat: Calm yourself down woman. Eat your brain melt and drink your au jus and and try not to explode.

  7. SJ Says:

    LOVE, love, love the new look! You are one she-xay (and crazy) blog site.

    By the by, why are you taking umbrage with a quiz calling you crazy when you refer to yourself as psychotic? Is there some sort of subtle nuance of which I’m not aware (because I’m crazy?). Please advise.

  8. Leonesse Says:

    I don’t wanna go back………….

  9. Suze's Sass Says:

    No, I was totally thinking of pie. Pizza, apple, coconut creme….yum.

  10. BeckEye Says:

    I would rather get out of bed and do a conference call at 3 am in my PJs than get up at 7:30, have to get dressed and go in to the office. So I would’ve kept the call time and then called in with a snotty, “Well, Guv scheduled me for a 3 am call so I can’t possibly make it into the office today. Or if I do, it won’t be until after noon.”

  11. ~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ Says:

    I just read this three times.


    I have no idea what you wrote except for Pie.

    Mmmmmm pie.


  12. pontifexofpunk Says:

    Ah… but what were you collecting? Heh…

  13. The Guv'ner Says:

    Baroness: Are you calling me Psychotic? No wait, I did that. You are right! Damn. Foiled again.

    Leo: I won’t let the men in white coats get you, don’t you fret.

    Suze: you can stop that RIGHT now. Damn…thoughts of pie at 9:30 in the morning, as it is right now, are not good.

    Beck: I am in full agreement with that, in fact I’d prefer to blow off the call altogether and sleep all day except maybe to get up and eat pie.

    Pix: Did your brain melt too? Get pie!

    Felix: COLLATING. COLLATING!!! Two different things (kind of). And the answer is figures. Mathematical things. Snore.

  14. Tony Alva Says:

    Who Cares is a given, but if you replace the “Who Cares” segment with “Dealing with incompetent Dicks” the allocation percentages would be appropriate for my day.

  15. The Guv'ner Says:

    Tony: Now you mention it…MINE TOO! In fact that slice would have possibly been BIGGER!

  16. Chardsy Says:

    The worst is when you realize the mistake that was made was your fault. I hate when that happens!!

    I love your damn pie charts.

  17. The Guv'ner Says:

    Chard: Damn straight. It sure wipes that smug look off your face fast.

    How’s the continuation of the job going? I’ve been keeping up with things Chez Chardonnay but not commenting much lately anywhere. I’m a lazy shit, basically.

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