Lady of Leisure

I called in sick to work today and I’m not really sick! What a rebel of society, ladies and gentlemen! I live on the edge, let me tell you.

OK, so technically I do have a headache and cramps too (you don’t have to read that part, gentlemen, oh wait, you already did!) so that sort of constitutes being “sick”, no? It’s also pissing down with rain in New York City and that’s reason enough for me. I’d hate to get wet. “I’m melting, I’m meeeeeelting…”

Plus, my good entertainment buddy isn’t around today to keep me busy and laughing in an Uberlord-free work day and what am I supposed to do – entertain myself? Pffft! Not damn likely.

What I’m going to do is, go back to bed in about five minutes for a nap, get up, eat lunch (grilled cheese sounds pretty good), do something productive (I haven’t decided what yet, ok, I’m working on it.) and maybe have another nap for balance. What a happy, rested and delightfully sane Guv’ner I will be by the day’s end at which time I will proceed to procure snacks and alcohol and watch stuff that’s been piling up on my DVR since November, while sprawling on the couch. Ah good times. Uberlord free, fancy good times.

Admit it, you’re all jealous of my leisurely day aren’t you?

I might fit caffeine in somewhere. And possibly beer. You know, at different times…

I’d make a pie chart to demonstrate all this but you know what? I can’t be assed. You’ll live.


22 Responses to “Lady of Leisure”

  1. mindy Says:

    I am VERY jealous. You’re a jerk!

    Well, not really, but I wish I were at home right now enjoying a nap…

    Have a good one – and drink a martini with lunch on my behalf please. Thanks.

  2. Bert Says:

    I want very much to see a pie chart of how you spent the day! Seriously, you are a goddess. No, you’re even better than that! You’re like the Labrador retriever of all that it good in life: wet and smelly and totally got it together, with a duck in your mouth.

  3. Falwless Says:

    I loathe you with every fiber of my being.

  4. Suze's Sass Says:

    BITCH(I still love you though!)

  5. CDP Says:

    You’re distilled evil.

  6. Lee Says:

    I work from home so I’m only bummed you don’t live close enough to come over to drink beer with me.


  7. BeckEye Says:

    Wait. Didn’t you JUST call off recently? Or was it that you just went in super late? If you had at least worked up some sort of graphical represenation of your slackness, I could’ve let this slide, but as it is I will have to report you to the Uberlord upon his return.

  8. The Guv'ner Says:

    Mindy: Done. well not so much a Martini as a Diet Pepsi and my headache is now worse so maybe I’d have been better with Martini after all?

    Bert: You just described me to a tee. Though what golf has to do with this I have no idea. I draw the line at ducks though. I’m a vegetarian. I usually stick to a block of tofu and a cabbage leaf.

    Fal: It was a nice nap too. Warm. Cozy. Comfortable. What????

    Suze: Yes and I AM pretty irresistible it’s true.

    CDP: Yes. Yes I am. I need a t-shirt announcing that I think.

    Franki: Damn! Never mind though I will toast you with one of MY drinks. Working from home. I am officially jealous.

  9. The Guv'ner Says:

    Beck: Nice try! 🙂 I had some days from last year to use that’s what I had before. They were just as pleasant as this one. And since my headache is now official I am SICK! HA!

    Of course I don’t think you’re bitter AT ALL. Ha.

  10. Teri Says:

    I’m actually amazed that they pay you for this.


    I’m tellin………

  11. ~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ Says:

    No pie chart?

    You selfish bitch.

    *nuthin’ but love, baybee*

  12. catherinette Says:

    Damn you for freaking rubbing it in.

    I imagine you lolling about in bed all weekend. It’s not fair. It’s just not fair.

  13. The Guv'ner Says:

    Teri: SICK DAYS! Get ’em!

    Pix: I’m sorry. My headache wouldn’t allow such intricate masterpieces.

    Catherinette: Correct! I did. But only because it rained all damn weekend. I did some stuff too I wasn’t 100% lazy. Maybe 75%…

  14. So@24 Says:

    Your banner is so much fucking cooler than mine!

  15. pistols at dawn Says:

    Your tales of last weekian laziness fill me with anger that I didn’t think of doing the same thing.

  16. Teri Says:

    are sick days the same as “mental health days”?

    If so, I got bunches of those.

  17. doorknob_dan Says:

    I bet you’re being a lady of leisure today TOO!

  18. The Guv'ner Says:

    So: Why thank you young man, I wish I could say I made it but I didn’t. But I like it a lot!! 🙂

    Pistols: You might not be as lazy as I am, that might be it.

    Teri: Honestly, we should get those. Most sick days I ever take ARE mental health days and for the good of all the people I don’t kill if I went to work.

    Danny: I’d like to do it as an occupation if someone would pay me.

  19. Leonesse Says:

    I am not sure if I can read your blog for the next month. If I have to go back, I don’t need you reminding me of the hell I am about to enter. I would rather spend my last month of freedom thinking about getting out of this town, not the bastard I am going to end up working for.

    I need a beer.

  20. The Ambiguous Blob Says:

    next time it rains in NYC, I’m taking the day off and using that as my excuse. so what if I live in southern california.

  21. r cubed Says:

    I think you’re taking this leisure thing a bit far. It’s fine to blow off work, but you still need to entertain me with regular blog postings.

  22. The Guv'ner Says:

    Leo: I’m sure it will be all plain sailing and sunshine. Maybe. Unless you get landed with an Uberlord of your own. Yikes!

    Tabbie: Rain is always an excuse. I mean it messes with your hair, man!

    R3: If it helps I thought about you EVERY DAY! No? Ok. New entry coming soon.

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