Star Trek In “The Buttock Shooters”

Here’s a heartwarming (Or should that be buttock warming?) little story for you this fine Monday, that came to my attention through FARK. Seems drive-by shootings have progressed to sail-by shootings. My favorite line is the last one: “…he was having further tests done to see what kind of projectile was lodged in his buttocks.” you know, in case that gun was firing skittles or puffer fish.

Here is my suggestion of how it all went down, kindly demonstrated by the cast of Star Trek.

"We're ready for your dastardly sail-by shenanigans, foe!"

“We’re ready for your dastardly sail-by shenanigans, foe.  Bring it!”

"Jim, I've been hit.  Squeeze my breast. No, harder!  Ha ha! I'm kidding. It hit me in the buttocks. What is it, McCoy?"

“AAAH! I’ve been hit.  The logical thing to do would be squeeze my breast. No, harder!  Actually joke’s on you, because I was hit in the tooshie.  It feels like someone fired a Klingon right up my poop chute.  What is in there McCoy?”

"Well....uh...."

“Well…uh…”

"I think I found the real culprit, Spock."

“Is there something you want to tell us?”

I knew I’d eventually work those photos in a post somewhere.  Who knew it would be over an article on buttock shooting.  Bon appetite!

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17 Responses to “Star Trek In “The Buttock Shooters””

  1. Poobomber Says:

    You’re so darned anally fixated. Spock sure is smiling hard!

  2. The Guv'ner Says:

    No, I’m anal. It’s a different thing, dude.

  3. pistols at dawn Says:

    It seems like every time I show up to a comments page or swing party, I interrupt something anal going on. It’s my gift, I suppose.

  4. WendyB Says:

    I hate having puffer fish up my ass!

  5. The Guv'ner Says:

    PaD: And I always thought you were in the middle of that sort of thing.

    Wendy: Me too. That stuff stings. 🙂

  6. Suze Says:

    Now this is just wrong….funny….but wrong 🙂

  7. Catherinette Says:

    Shatner and Nimoy look right at home with one another in that nipple twisting shot.

  8. Diane Mandy Says:

    Aha! So happy to see you back!

  9. The Guv'ner Says:

    Suze: I think we’ve established long ago about my level of “wrong”.

    Catherinette: A little TOO at home. If it gets a reaction from Spock it’s working, baby.

    Diane: Hey you! Thank you 🙂

  10. Mr. Moosefucker Says:

    You know I totally abandoned FARK. I rejoined with a new name and everything, but the crowd there is just a bunch of foul little kids, the gun nuts and racists just turn my stomach and the rmapant cliches….Just not my scene.

    Too bad cause I miss the silly old days.

    Here I am getting sentimental over a website…How sad is that?

  11. The Guv'ner Says:

    Yeah I don’t hang out in the forums much there anymore for those very reasons, dude. I get too agitated 🙂

  12. DanjerusKurves Says:

    You MOVED!! You MOVED AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!!!!!!!!! Thank goodness for my ninja-stalking skills … now I can feel better about the past three — or is it four? — months that I’ve clicked on your old site every.single.day. *glare*

  13. The Guv'ner Says:

    Hey!!! Yes I did and I was sure I had. OOPS! 🙂 I’m happy you found me now though. Better late than never and all that! HI!

  14. BeckEye Says:

    Man, I love the word “dastardly.”

  15. Lucy Says:

    hello..i just stumbled across your blog and am laughing aloud at this post…i too can never resist a joke about things up bottoms!!!
    i look forward to dropping by again!

  16. The Guv'ner Says:

    Hi Lucy, well keesters will always be full of high-larity I say! No pun intended with the “full of” thing. I think… 🙂 And hi!

  17. The Guv'ner Says:

    Beck: I like it when followed by Mutley.

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