7 Quirky Things

Kelly from Lavender Lattes held me at gunpoint and made me do this meme. Yes, really. Since I’m up exceptionally early I’m going to do it too. You can’t stop me. It’s about 7 weird or quirky things about me, to which I gasped aloud and muttered, “ONLY SEVEN?”

1. List 7 weird or quirky things about myself,
Or
2. Post the 5th photo from my 5th album for the whole dang world to see… (huh?)

7 Weird or Quirky Things about me:

One: Whenever I eat spicy food (and I like spicy food!) my ears tingle. The spicier the food the tinglier they get. It’s how I gauge my eatins! I actually had a sandwich from Subway last night that reached a 7.5 on the ‘OUCHY’ Scale! Those hot peppers, man. They’re weapons of mass tastebud destruction.

Two: When I get an idea I’ll think about it for hours. Days. Millennia! Like when I was thinking about how fun it would be as a project to build an abode from shipping containers a few weeks ago, I totally built the entire home IN MY IMAGINATION, from the welding to the wiring to insulating it… My brain latches on to something and won’t let it go till I’ve mentally covered it. I even pretended in my head like the shipping container thing was a reality show. “This is where I’m going to put the washer/drier and my spiral staircase will go here!” as I waved enormous power tools around and wore goggles and overalls and you all thought, while watching my mental TV, “Wow, that chick is AWESOME!

Three: I hate to lose at games. OK, it’s not so much I hate to lose as I hate that I’m totally incompetent at them. For example, I’ve been playing this Xbox car racing game lately where the aim is to smash into as much traffic as you can at high speeds, which, let me tell you, is very therapeutic indeed, but part of it is racing at the same time and I hate when I’m being incompetent at it and coming in last, which is often. Now in real life, you can cut me off at the lights and I don’t give a shit so long as I don’t smash into your stupid ass, even if I might mutter a bad word under my breath. In a driving GAME however, I will take you down, sucker. I will pound you into the nearest wall and send you over a ravine to your bloody, twisted death. And if you beat me I will sulk and smash MY car into stuff because I am five.

Four: I always hold the phone to my right ear. I can’t do it on the left side. It sounds different and wrong. Plus I need my left hand free to make gestures.

Five: I like National Anthems. Shhhh.

Six: Sort of like the ear thing, I can gauge how drunk I am by how my toes feel. A couple of cocktails they tend to tingle, another one makes them all rubbery. My toes are all knowing.

Seven: I have a third nipple on my butt. OK, it’s not really a third nipple, it’s a little bump that feels like a nipple. I mean I don’t go around feeling up my own butt all day or anything but I know it’s there. It’s always been there. If I was feeling a whole row of butts, I’d know mine instantly due to that little bump. Now there’s an image.

If you read all the way through that, I’m impressed. You must’ve had a lot of coffee.

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24 Responses to “7 Quirky Things”

  1. Mike Says:

    Well if you get a brown sharpie you could make it a nipple.

  2. WendyB Says:

    I’m stunned that a sandwich from Subway could be spicy.

  3. The Guv'ner Says:

    Mike: You speak sense. OK not SENSE exactly. That would be sort of an infected nipple, surely? A brown nipple?

    Wendy: I know!!! They have these secret “under the counter” peppers. Except they’re ON the counter with everything else. Either way, they are hotter than HELL in summer.

  4. Poobomber Says:

    Liar, it was seeing Jared at Subway that made you tingly.

  5. The Guv'ner Says:

    You bastard. You said you’d never tell.

    Actually seeing Jared made my reflexes tingly right before I PUKED.

  6. Hippie Chris Says:

    The top of my dad’s head gets red and (from what he tells me) tingles when he eats ketchup.

  7. The Guv'ner Says:

    Hahaha that’s just weird, Chris. I like things like that. Like your body just does its own thing in certain situations. 🙂

  8. Debbie Says:

    My ears go all funny with spicy food too. I thought I was the only one!

  9. Suze Says:

    I don’t like subway. Jared was supposed to show up at a city event we had, but decided to go to a bigger city event. Jared is dead to me I tell ya.

  10. so@24 Says:

    You have a nipple on your ass? You have the best ass. Ev. AR.

    My favorite national anthem is “O Canada”. No joke.

  11. The Guv'ner Says:

    Debbie: NO!!! Really? Woo hoo! At last, someone who knows what I’m talking about. It’s so weird, my ears go nuts when real spice is involved. I’m always poking them. 🙂

    Suze: Wait…Jared can pick and chose EVENTS? No, wait again. People INVITE Jared to DO events? WHY?

    So: It’s not a real nipple you know. Just a bump. There’s a story behind it but I won’t get into it, something to do with my birth.

    O Canada is a great anthem. So is the Star Spangled Banner. And La Marsellaise is rousing! Oh God, I’m so geeky.

  12. Diane Mandy Says:

    Funniest Quirkiest Things EVER!

  13. The Guv'ner Says:

    It’s kind of early to be drunk, Diane, but thanks. 🙂

  14. Franki Says:

    Your ears, toes, and third nipple are way too sensitive.

  15. Mr. Moosefucker Says:

    FUCK! I want a sandwich from Subway! You’re spoiled!

    I can’t afford to chew on the napkins from Subway dammit!

    A nipple on your butt…A Bipple!

    There I named it!

  16. The Guv'ner Says:

    Franki: How do you know my 3rd nipple is sensitive? Hmmm?

    Mr. MF: My bipple thanks you.

  17. Franki Says:

    I’m not answering that. You can’t make me.

  18. Ron Says:

    I don’t know how I ended up here, but I always comment on blogs that contain the word nipple. It’s a compulsion 🙂

  19. The Guv'ner Says:

    Franki: It’ll be our secret. Wink. 🙂

    Ron: You must be the male me! Um..not that I search endlessly for nipples on the internet you understand. Not every day anyway.

  20. BeckEye Says:

    Your ears tingle when you eat spicy foods? I think it might just be the vibrations from the gaseous eruptions.

  21. The Guv'ner Says:

    You utter beeyotch.

    OK maybe you’re right.

    Damn, I hate that.

  22. Catherinette Says:

    Here’s the big question: can you tell how drunk you are by how your ass nipple feels?

  23. The Guv'ner Says:

    Cath: My ass nipple actually has more important qualities. It can gauge things like letting me know when it’s time to eat cake (anytime) therefore, rendering it the most important non-organ in my body!

  24. leonesse Says:

    You had a tail removed didn’t you?

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