A Friday Thought

What’s so miraculous about Miracle Whip? Because, let’s be honest here, it’s just sort of like mayonnaise with flavor. I could put flavor in mayo in about three seconds and it wouldn’t even be close to a miracle, it would just be a case of grabbing a ketchup bottle or some garlic or the strained juice from Justin Timberlake’s salty jock strap or something.

Miracle Whip needs to be taken down a peg or two if you ask me. Maybe call it “Passable Mayo Substitute Whip”. Sure it’s less catchy but it’s at least true.

In other news, I’m now going by the name the Godlike Guv’ner.


20 Responses to “A Friday Thought”

  1. Red Says:

    Miracle Whip is the worst thing ever invented. Ever.

  2. The Guv'ner Says:

    I kind of like it. I didn’t at first. It makes good egg salad! Not MIRACULOUS egg salad however… 🙂

  3. Poobomber Says:

    It’s da bomb!! One you go Miracle, you never go back to plain ol’.

  4. Suze Says:

    I hate Miracle Whip. Down south here it apparently passes for mayo. I refuse to eat this made up witchery stuff. I am from the North – we like our Mayo with fat, fat and whatever the coloring stuff is.

  5. The Guv'ner Says:

    Yes Pooey, I am converted to the joys that MW might hold. I mean it’s still not miraculous or anything! I still have a place in my heart for mayo however, especially with french fries.

    Suze: It’s not bad. It’s ok. It’s just not a miracle really. Why people pay to see Matthew McConnahooey movies, that is a miracle.

  6. Mongoliangirl Says:

    I wonder if Carmen would do a taste test for us on that ‘Justin Timberlake jock strap’ idea?

  7. katrocket Says:

    But Miracle Whip isn’t technically mayo, it’s “dressing sauce” (check out the label), and it reminds me of (Heinz) English Salad Cream. YOU know what I’m talkin’ bout, lassie.

    For me, it’s either Hellman’s or homemade mayo, which is really freakin’ easy to make and so much tastier than anything you can buy in a jar.

  8. Some Guy Says:

    I hear it cures blindness. And if you add water to it, you get wine.

  9. The Guv'ner Says:

    ok that’s it. I take it back. It IS miraculous. Maybe someone ought to clue in Stevie Wonder though. There’d be a great headline in there too something about “miracles” and “wonder”. I’m just too hungover to think of it.

  10. WendyB Says:

    Also you can annoy people by saying “Miracle HWIP,” with an unnecessary emphasis on the H.

  11. The Guv'ner Says:

    Haha, you’re on the same page as Stewie! 🙂

  12. pistols at dawn Says:

    I don’t eat it, making this possibly the Only Bad Thing For Me I don’t eat. I’m sort of like a test rat this way, so that stuff must be terrible for you.

  13. The Guv'ner Says:

    OR…. going by the Pistols Scale of Bad Eating it might be really healthy BECAUSE you don’t eat it.

  14. Teri Says:

    I HATE miracle whip. blech!

    I grew up on Hellman’s and stick with that type of mayo. it depends on what you grew up with.

  15. The Guv'ner Says:

    Yeah I grew up on Hellman’s too – I especially loved their flavored mayos like lemon and garlic. YUM! I find those hard to find in the US though.

  16. abroad Says:

    I swing both ways – I like Miracle Whip and Mayonnaise, although I think your observation about Miracle Whip being less than miraculous is spot on and also as I type this I’m not entirely sure why I capitalized Mayonnaise. Either way, capital or lower case, they are both oily and delish with tuna or egg salads.

  17. Franki Says:

    i’m pretty sure Miracle Whip has Cool Whip as one of the main ingredients, and it is kind of miraculous….that i don’t vomit when it is in my mouth.

  18. The Guv'ner Says:

    Miss Lady: I would agree – I can eat either and MW is actually growing on me. Not literally, that would be horrible. And fungulicious.

    Franki: Ew. Just….ew!!!! 🙂

  19. BeckEye Says:

    I effing hate that nasty shit. It’s either mayo or it’s salad dressing. It can’t be both. So if it’s dressing, get it the hell out of the mayo section in the grocery store. And stop trying to put it on my sandwiches and screwing everything up. (Not YOU, just, you know, THEM at large.)

  20. The Guv'ner Says:

    Becks: It’s a sort of hybrid condiment. It’s useful yet sort of icky, yet sort of tasty too. It’s not ranch however, so it fails miserably there. Hmmmm ranch…..

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